The Great Enemy in My Mind

Due to posting my "Pin-Up" style pictures I got a lot of compliments.  I won't tell you how much I scrutinized those pictures.  I actually had a few and only shared the two that I thought best represented me.  I found too many flaws in the other pictures.  I can tell you about forty things I think are wrong with my physical appearance. I was talking to someone today who will recognize herself but I will not name her out of respect.  I told her how stunning she is and how we often talk about how cute she is and what style she has.  She stated she was trying to believe it.  It just floored me that she had to work at recognizing how beautiful she is.  Then I thought, well that's how I feel.  It embarrasses me to be told I look good; because the voices in my head tell me otherwise. 

I'm the type that often comes across as confident because I am outgoing and loud and all the things people think of when they think someone has it together. Luckily ADHD makes it difficult to read social ques, so we just don't care and are loud and outgoing.  BUT, my appearance since having Simon especially is down the toilet.  I actual wonder sometimes how anyone can like me this fat.  Its sad.  Yep, its really sad, but that is what so many people deal with.  Those awful voices in our head that are our own worst enemies telling us we're not worthy of even friendship because we've let ourselves get out of shape.  Or whatever your enemy voices tell you that's wrong.  I do think its important to be aware of improvements you would like to make in your life; I'm talking about those things that keep you from enjoying your life and who you are right now. 

I am going to make a special effort to celebrate who I am, just as I am.  I am going to challenge anyone reading this to do the same for themselves.  Start telling those voices to suck it!  Tell them they are not welcome.  Start welcoming those voices that tell you that you are beautiful, that you are important and most importantly that you are worthy of friendship and love no matter what.  It will keep you from becoming a miserable person and we've already discussed how much they suck!